“Call me a safe bet
I’m betting I’m not”
-Brand New. Deja Entendu. 2003.
Doesn’t it seem like a lot of people just seem to have themselves figured out? Did I miss the boat on doing a solo backpacking trip across the world to discover what kind of things I truly want out of my life? Or am I really getting by just fine with the “taking things a day at a time” route?
I like to think I don’t have any regrets but its safe to say we may all fantasize about what we could have done differently, and what we still might do in the future. I’ll catch myself in a full mental day dream (about almost anywhere I am) about my life. A life I haven’t yet lived, and how the life I’ve been routining will shape me to get there. Sound familiar? Uh yeah, basic human stuff bro.
“Okay Danielle are you really about to get all existential and ‘what does it all really mean on us right now’?”-you probably. But dammit Sally- fuck yeah I am. I’m not above being realistic about the ‘what in the fuck am I really doing in my life’ moments we all have from time to time in a satire blog about getting older. Look friends, we all are a bunch of little girls and boys in older-by-the-minute bodies. We are fucking doing it right now. How do we know if we are ‘safe bets’? Can you count on yourself to be the person you’re wanting to have in your own life?
The best part about being in control of your own narrative is just that. You’re in control. You can make what you want really happen. But dear god doesn’t that happen to be the worst part about being in control of your life too? There are so many options. So what do you want?
Maybe the silver lining (and hopefully not just a lie we tell ourselves) is that its way okay to chill out and know that what we want can change, slightly mature, or make more sense as we do get older. And maybe theres no real end point to this consistent forward movement of “where am I going?-ness“. So save your sorry’s and regrets. Guys we’ve made it this far, and I like where this is heading. We look pretty good for having zero idea whats ahead of us.
We may not know for sure whats in store tomorrow, but keep doing things for you. Its never too late to find yourself. Do things for the ones you love, they’re there to grow with you. Finally, never stop being a beginner at something. We grow as we learn.
Happy new year babies! My bets are on you, its time to bet on you too.